Waiting sucks

I'm back from our vacation- it actually went rather well. The only problem was that Wednesday afternoon, I was woken from a nap with a phone call from my OBs office regarding the appt I had Friday before we left. The radiologist read my sono pics and determined that there appears to be something restricting blood flow from the placenta to the umbilical cord. The nurse said the Dr was concerned enough to get me an immediate appt with the MFE for Thursday (as in the next day.) I explained that I was in WV and could not get there that fast. Of course, I was panicing and thinking, maybe I need to look into a flight home or see if there is someone in WV I can get into see asap. They decided it would be okay for me to wait until Monday, the day after we returned, to go to the MFE.

We started driving back Saturday and got trapped in the flood detours across Indiana, so we didn't make it as far as we hoped. Sunday, I was stressing that we'd hit more road delays since the entire midwest was saturated. Luckily we got home Sunday evening.

My mom drove down to go with Doug and I to my appt because she was sick with worry for us. We got there and the first thing they told us was we needed to plan when I'd be coming in for my weekly sonos and appts for the rest of the pg! I was like, "WHAT!?!!" So I called my OBs office and they said it wasn't necessary to do that unless their sono confirmed a problem. So we had the sono, very long & extensive. It was like an echocardiogram- it showed the path of blood flow from the placenta to the cord, thru the placenta, thru the cord, thru the baby's tummy, and thru her brain. The tech can't tell us shit, the MFE has to read the images and write a report to send to my OB. So we didn't get any news one way or the other at the appt, but was told our OB should have the report in 24 hrs.

Today, I called 2x to see if they had it yet (btw, my OB is on vacation this week) and finally the nurse got ahold of the MFE office at 3:30 and was told "it's on the top of her stack, she should get to it today and you'll have the report tomorrow." Once she sends the report to my OBs office, her partner will read it & tell the nurse what to tell us. Ugh!!! I am going crazy waiting. Can't sleep....

I am trying to stay reassured because baby Ella looked so good on the sono, she even gained 8 oz since the one a week ago. She's measuring ahead on my OBs due date by a week. She's had hicups 2x in the past week. I keep having this sense of panic that I need to finish the baby's room, wash up her diapers and clothes and buy the remaining things we need asap. Of course, at 30-31 weeks, she'd have to be delivered in the hospital an hour away and would spend at least a month in NICU before she came home. My mind is figuring out where I can stay there so I can be close enough to see her every day. How will we manage the boys if I deliver preterm?

I just don't want to think about it. Worse of all, I just don't want to think about losing her. I can't imagine it.