My Breastfed Daughter wants to Bottle feed her Babies

Playing with her baby dolls is Eleanor's favorite thing to do. She likes undressing them and giving them pretend baths in her play kitchen sink. She uses her doll brush to make their hair pretty. She wraps them in old receiving blankets and rocks them to sleep. They take turns sitting on her potty chair and making pretend tinkles. Nothing is funnier than seeing her lay her baby down on a prefold diaper and watching her carefully attempt to attach it with a Snappi! Her babies also enjoy horse back rides through the house on her shoulders while she yells, "Yee haw!"

Dolly goes with us on car rides to get Daddy and the boys or shopping at the grocery store. Sometimes she takes Dolly for a walk in the stroller, with her purse hooked on her arm, cell phone and keys tucked inside, and a wave "Bye bye, Mama. I goin' shoppin'" Other times she snuggles them in her doll sling for a trip around the yard.

Recently, she discovered a new way to play with Dolly. I've been babysitting in the two-year-old room for the local MOPs group. Usually, we have about 5-6 girls and one or two boys in the room. Luckily, there are plenty of baby dolls for all the girls to have one. They work on taking turns pushing the dolls in the two strollers or on the one swing. They cook up snacks for their dolls in the play kitchen and they remark on their stinky diapers. But there's a new toy for Ella to use with her dolls at MOPs that she hasn't had at home. Doll bottles filled with fake milk or orange juice. It didn't take long at all for Ella to follow the other girls' lead in feeding and burping the dolls with bottles. After a couple of times at MOPs, Ella was quick to secure one of the three bottles for her baby to use each session. I sat back and watched her holding and bottle feeding her baby. So odd to see from a girl that never had a bottle or pacifier!

I didn't make a big deal about it at MOPs and figured it doesn't mean much, she only plays with them there. At home, she tends to nurse her babies or uses the little cups from her tea set to give them drinks of "water". Lately, however, she's been wanting a bottle for her Dolly. She found a small bottle of cleaning fluid Doug uses for his guitars, I think, that has a pointy tip like a bottle on the cap. Instantly, Ella began using it to feed her baby. Then Aidan decided to wash out a small chocolate milk bottle, removed the label, and gave that to Ella to use as a bottle. I had to take the cleaning bottle away from her because I was worried about her getting it open.

I am starting to see how important she thinks a bottle is to her favorite form of play.

Most people wouldn't think twice about whether or not a child played with a bottle and a doll. To me, it matters. I've consciously avoided bottles and bottle imagery in reference to children and babies for many years. I actively avoid baby congratulations cards or wrapping paper with bottles and pacifiers. I feel like it sets up bottle feeding as the norm in baby care instead of as a secondary tool. It's very important to me that my children are raised to believe that breastfeeding is the normal way to feed a baby. I want them to see bottles as just a tool to feed babies when mother is not available. I think it shapes them for how they will parent in the future. I want my son supportive of his partner breastfeeding and I want my daughter confident in her ability to breastfeed her children, should they have them.

Doug isn't on the same page as me regarding toy bottles. Maybe because we bottle fed expressed milk to Sean in addition to nursing. Maybe because he thinks I'm just making too big of a deal of it. Maybe he's right. Or maybe I am.

Right now, I am confident that she does know what breastfeeding is and how it helps babies. While playing dolls with the other girls at MOPs, Ella's doll fell out of the swing. She exclaimed, "Oh no! Baby hurt!" ran around the swing to pick up her doll, immediately lifted her shirt and held her doll to her chest. "Baby needs Ni-Ni!" she said, while kissing her doll on her head, in full view of all of her friends.

While the bottles may be a fun way for her to give Dolly a drink, breastfeeding is what Dolly needs for comfort. Maybe Santa will put a toy bottle in her Christmas stocking after all.

A Gentle Weaning: Sean's Story

In August of 2006, I wrote an article for an online baby blog in honor of World Breastfeeding Week about my experiences breastfeeding Sean. It was the first time I openly discussed many breastfeeding experiences I've shared with my children: struggles in the beginning, painful decisions about my hopes as a mother, tandem nursing, and extended nursing. I later adapted this article and submitted for the now well-known book, Gifts: Mother's Reflect on How Children with Down Syndrome Enrich their Lives. Our story was out there, and at the time it seemed like it was near the end of that relationship.



It wasn't the end at all, I continued to walk the fine balance between my desires to mother-led wean my babies and my belief in child-led weaning. We had good times and bad times nursing, but mostly we just took it day by day. When Aidan weaned, it was with a bit of a nudge, a suggestion implanted peacefully and then nurtured by him in his time. When he was ready, it was a gentle process over so smoothly that it felt right for both of us. Three years later, he has a hard time imagining that he nursed as long as he did. He really doesn't have distinct memories of it, it seems to have just faded away. He knows that he breastfed, he knows he breastfed along side his brother, and he sees it as the biological norm for feeding babies. What was once such a significant part of his life is now just a warm memory.



Sean has always been the most pleasant toddler to nurse. In fact, I'd dare say that once we overcame his early rough start, he was the nicest baby to nurse as well. He never played the typical distracted baby games: constantly switching sides, or latching on then popping off unexpectedly to see what was going on around him. No biting stage, no twiddling the other side in search of Tokyo radio stations. No loud shouting for milkies in public places or yanking at my shirt. Just gentle, peaceful, pleasant and respectful. The ideal nursing child.

Between that easy-going personality, his difficulty gaining weight, his lack of a balanced diet, and his susceptibility to illness.... well, it just was a no-brainer to let him nurse as long as he wanted to or needed to. I was happy when he night weaned, around 2 1/2-3 yrs old (with Doug's help, thank you, Doug, for taking over night wakings!) I was happy when he easily tapered off his requests to nurse as he aged. From age 2.5-3.5, he nursed about 3x a day. From age 3.5-4.5, it went down to 2x a day. From 4.5 years old until he weaned at age 5 years, 11 months, he only nursed once a day. He'd often skip days the last year, sometimes even a couple in a row, all on his own accord. He only asked to nurse briefly every morning right when he woke up. Our morning ritual included him climbing into bed with Ella and me for a snuggle and "nee nee", as Ella re-named it.



With his sixth birthday approaching and Kindergarten looming, I started thinking about weaning. After the boys made the transition to sleeping in their own room, I decided that we should see if Sean would be willing to let go of his morning milkies. We gently talked about it, wondering what he understood and if he could comprehend that it was going to end forever. He didn't seem to really understand, but we were usually able to distract him first thing in the morning so that we could phase it out of the routine. He had mornings when he'd wake up tired from a restless night and would be upset with the distractions. Most days it went well and we moved on with the day.



Before either of us knew it, a month had passed since he last nursed. Every now and then, he'd ask and I'd tell him, "Sean's such a big boy! He's all done with milkies, just like Aidan. Only Ella has milkies now." Then we'd have a hug or go get him a drink or something else. He is completely comfortable just snuggling with me in the morning or skips it all together to come downstairs for breakfast with Doug and Aidan. He's still a slow riser, prefers to be eased into the morning, but we have found new ways to make that transition.

I'm so proud of him for letting go of so many "baby" qualities this year: no diapers for a year, no co-sleeping for a few months, no more nursing, and lots of new progress on table foods. I can't wait to add "no more baby foods" to that list, but I think I see the pattern. When he's ready, it happens and he soars.

I love you, Sean, and will always treasure our milkie memories.

Breastfeeding your baby with Down syndrome

Today I am going to be busy preparing for a presentation I am giving with another person at tomorrow's Kansas La Leche League conference on the subject of breastfeeding a baby with special needs. I am so delighted to have this opportunity to give information to people in the lactation field about something I am so passionate about. Since I can't give my presentation to everyone that might need it, I thought I'd put just a few of my favorite internet links about the subject here so others can find some help on their own. I hope you enjoy reading the links and feel inspired! Tomorrow's post will be a related personal story that has been in the drafts folder for a long time.

Have a wonderfuLLL weekend!

SPECIAL ADVANTAGES OF NURSING YOUR BABY WITH DOWN SYNDROME

Helping Babies who have Down Syndrome Learn to Breast Feed

Ask Dr. Sears: Babies with Down Syndrome

Dr. Sears FAQ on Down Syndrome

KellyMom Resources about Down Syndrome

Breast Feeding a Baby with Down Syndrome: Finnian's Journey

A Rite of Passage

After months of trying to "train" Ella's hair to part and grow in a direction out of her eyes, I am caving to the fact that it just isn't happening right now. She won't leave barrettes or clippings in her hair, so every day I pull up the top in a pigtail. Problem is, it's gotten so long that the whalespout look is a bit silly.
So then I tried two piggies, adorable, but hard to do on a moving target.



Next came a few weeks of pulling it to the back of her head, which works fine.



This week, I gave the side pony a try and liked it. A bit 80's, but not terrible.



However, as soon as I take her hair down, for bath or bed, it goes right back to this: a veil over her face. Personally, if my hair did that it would drive me nuts!



So today I am taking Ella to my hairdresser for her first haircut. I'm considering bangs (which many have said is the way to go at this age), but am going to see with they say there. I have a hard enough time making it in for regular haircuts for myself that I'm not sure I want the maintenance of bangs on a toddler. And, no, trust me, I am not going to snip it myself!

It's a bit emotional for me to be taking my last baby in for this rite of passage. It's like letting go of a bit of her baby hood. I know it's just hair, but a momma has attachment for things like that!

Ironically, today also seems to be the end of another part of my infant time with Eleanor. I'm having signs that the past 17 1/2 months of Lactation Amenorrhea is coming to an end. Rats! It's sad to know that unless I have some sort medical problem resulting in the need of a hysterectomy, I will "enjoying" cycles until menopause!

Tweaking the Family Bed

With Doug out of town last week on a business trip, I attempted to tweak our sleeping arrangements to make things more comfortable for my mom.

Doug and I have co-slept (or sleep-shared or practiced the Family Bed, however you want to call it) since Aidan was born. With each child we set up a separate baby-sleeping space, in our room, to use if needed for naps or for a baby to play while we got dressed/got ready in the morning, but night time sleep has been with a parent close by. Sean was only only baby that was content for awhile to sleep in a separate baby space for a few hours at a time when he was an infant. Eventually his reflux and apnea issues caused him to spend more time being held while sleeping than not.

Aidan was a high needs infant that still has a strong need for touch when he sleeps. If he sleeps close to someone, he sleeps soundly and through the night. If he doesn't get that need met, he is very restless and wakes frequently. Sean doesn't so much as need the constant sense of touching, but he does wake often due to some apnea. When he wakes, he sits up in bed and then flops himself in half or we pat his back to sooth him back to sleep.

Ella sleeps fairly well compared to the boys at this age. She wakes about 2 or 3 times a night and nurses back to sleep. Co-sleeping with her certainly makes night feedings easier for me! Aidan night weaned around age 4 and Sean was about 2 1/2 or 3 when he night weaned. I expect to be night nursing for some time still.

Usually our night time sleep arrangements work fine for us. Our children's needs are being met and they are happy. We are happy because we spend more time sleeping and not getting in and out of bed all night to tend to crying children. However, when one of us isn't there overnight, it can be a challenge. I have slept with all three in our king size bed, but frankly it isn't too comfy for me. I get too hot and don't sleep well. So when Doug is going to be gone several nights I call in the back up. :)

My parents and Doug's parents never co-slept with their kids and don't really understand why we'd want to. Luckily, though, they have been willing to follow our routine when they help overnight.

Back to this past week. I didn't want my mom to have to sleep snug between both boys, so I tried to figure out a way to keep one of the boys in my room. Doug and I converted the unused crib into a toddler/day bed arrangement. This first night, Aidan was eager to try sleeping in it and fell right asleep at bedtime in the "little bed" in Mommy's room. He thought he'd be fine, because he could see Ella and I from across the room. Sometime around 1 am he woke up and didn't like it any more. I told him it was ok, I was right there and to lay back down. Repeat every 15 mins for over an hour. Finally, I said, "Okay just get in bed with us." Mind you, Ella and I sleep in a queen size bed.

The second night, I re-arranged the furniture to set the small bed next to mine in a side-car fashion. *Note: if you do this with a baby or young toddler, you need to make certain safety measures.* Aidan thought this would be much better for him, he could see me and hold my hand if he got scared.



Again, he fell asleep easily at bedtime and slept well until 1-ish, then restless until I agreed to let him sleep next to me. Both nights, as soon as he was in my bed he slept soundly until it was time to get up for the day.

On the third night, Sean fell asleep at 6:30 (2 hrs earlier than bedtime) and I put him in the little bed to see if he could sleep through the night in there. Aidan slept with Nana and they both had a good night's sleep. Sean slept well for several hours, but when he began doing his wake-sit up-flop down pattern, he flopped down and hit his head on the side of the crib. After hearing him whack his head a couple more times, I moved him into my bed so I could get some sleep.

So, it didn't really work out for us. Doug and I often wonder if the boys will just go from sleeping with us, to sleeping in a queen size bed together without us before sleeping alone. They just are used to hearing another person while they sleep and having a bigger bed to roll about on.

I must admit, I was happy to go back to just one little one in my bed once Doug came home!

Well, that was a stressful roadtrip!

*A little break from Ds related posts*

I mentioned before that Saturday I went to man a booth for La Leche League at what I thought was going to be a baby fair. Well, as Paul Harvey used to say, "here's the rest of the story..."

Friday evening, Doug decided that the boys would have more fun staying home with him, so I was on my own for the little roadtrip with Ella. Sometimes, she's okay in the car. Usually if it's just a short drive or I time it with her naps. I had hopes that we'd get her morning nap on the way there and afternoon nap on the way back. I rushed around in the morning getting everything packed for the day and headed out the door 15 mins later than I wanted to. Ella was tired, so I figured she'd fall asleep a few miles down the highway.

She was content about 10 minutes, then started screaming/crying because she was tired. I kept hoping she'd fall asleep so I just kept the car quiet and whispered shh shh to her. Suddenly, it caught my eye that the low fuel light was on. Crap! Didn't think to check that before we left town! I pushed the dash button to display how many miles till empty... ZERO! Oh shizzle! At this point, I was half way to Wichita and had passed the last gas station by miles, with no more ahead for several more miles.

I grabbed the cell and called Doug.
"When it says zero miles till empty, how many more miles can you actually drive?"
"Um, maybe 2 or 3."
"F-bomb, F-bomb, F-bomb!"
"Where are you? Did you pass Haven?"
"I'm in the middle of nowhere!!! Yes, I passed Haven awhile ago. And Ella has been crying for the last 20 mins now! I can't pull over to console her because I'm afraid I won't get the car to start again! I don't know what to do!"
"Just keep driving as far as you can and if you don't make it call me and I will see if someone in Wichita can drive out to give you gas."

Now I'm in tears, too. I start praying to God that I can make to the next gas station. Yeah, I know, he has nothing better to do than grant gas-guzzling prayers. It was 38 degrees outside and I had just dressed Ella and myself in light coats. Wasn't too excited about the thought of hiking with a baby to a gas station along the highway.

Somehow we managed to drive 15 miles after that point to the gas station and coasted into the pump bays. Five minutes before I pulled in, Ella finally fell asleep, only to wake up when I stopped the car to get gas. When I got back in and started the engine to keep going, she realized that I wasn't getting her out and began crying again. After ten more minutes of crying, she fell asleep again just as I located the building for the fair.

I tried carrying her in without waking her up, but as soon as we got into the very noisy building she was wide awake. I found our booth and was amazingly only 20 mins late for the event, but luckily the other leader had everything under control already. PHEW!

My adrenaline settled down and I had a nice afternoon chatting with Katelin while our daughters played together. Unfortunately there was quite a bit of misunderstanding about the exhibit. It wasn't a baby fair, it was a breast cancer/health awareness fair. And we didn't have a booth in the main room with the other exhibitors, we had a separate room at the end of the hallway full of rooms where they were giving free breast exams. I guess that was the "boob wing" of the fair. So we didn't really get to our target market (pregnant/new mothers) and didn't get much activity in our room, other than a nice visit from fellow leader Maureen, who brought her three kids including 4 week old new son.

Ella setting up chairs in our booth. ;)

Katelin chatting with our translator.

Maureen's daughter, Rosie, checking out the toys.

Maureen with her sons.

(Yes, she's nursing!)

Our two little one year olds had a good time toddling down the halls and smiling at the other exhibitors, so the afternoon went really fast.

As we packed up for the day, Katelin and I both had our girlies in carriers and they both dozed off. Ella unfortunately woke up when I buckled her into the car, then went to sleep again about 20 mins from home. She had a nice nap with daddy when we got home, too.

you just never know how the day is going to turn out!

Off to Help New Moms!

I will be sharing my other passion today- representing La Leche League at a baby fair in Wichita. It's at a dual language school, will be working with an interrupter. Should be interesting!

Doug will be hanging with his boys today while Ella and I go off for the day. I foresee them staying in jammies, playing lots of games and plenty of wrestling around.

Ella Roo, 8 Months Old

Time is just whipping on by and my little stinker is already 8 months old now. She is such a sweet baby, so smiley and good natured. She wakes up happy, puts up with her brothers' noise and doesn't mind going with the flow.

She is knee-deep in seperation anxiety, but is okay if she can see mama. It's hard not to laugh when she bursts into tears just because I walk away to go get a drink. I try to keep her happy and cart her along with me where ever I go.

She is just loving feeding her self! I can't express how well Baby Led Weaning has worked for us. I am so glad I am not fighting to get a spoonful of runny, sloppy baby food in her mouth. I'm not worrying if she didn't eat x amount of said sloppy food. I'm glad that I don't have to stress out because we don't have a certain baby food on hand for her. She eats what we eat, as long as it is healthy for her. No nuts/milk/eggs/honey yet, not til after 1 year old or later on most of those. She's tried a little yogurt, but she wrinkled her nose at it. I have a cute video of her eating asparagus to post when I can get it loaded on my computer.

Eleanor is quite the acrobatic breastfeeder. And going through the distracted nurser stage. Mama is not allowed to talk when Ella Roo is nursing or she will pop off and give me the stink eye. She is easily distracted by her brothers or any other interesting noises in the room. Luckily she has been going easy on the biting while nursing, she quickly learned that mommy doesn't like that! She still has just two teeth, but those little toothers can hurt.

She is getting very mobile. She can army crawl, twist, turn and scoot to where she wants to go. She has started figuring out hands-knees crawling and I think will be speed crawling within the next month. She is trying to pull herself up to things, but then takes an abrupt fall over when she wants down. So she has officially given herself several noggin bruises.

I took her to get photos done to mail out in Easter cards. Unfotunately I was running about a week behind so they won't get out before Easter. Ella wore a knit bonnet and sweater set that was made for my aunt when she was a baby (some 60+ years ago.) Ella was a wonderful little model and had many cute photos for me to choose from. So, I will end this post with a few favorites from her session.

AAP Severs Ties with Formula Industry

Press Release
4/1/2009

American Academy of Pediatrics-For Immediate Release

Dr. David T. Tayloe, President of the American Academy of Pediatrics
which represents 60,000 primary care pediatricians, pediatric medical
subspecialists and pediatric surgical specialists has announced that it
is severing all ties with the infant formula industry.

"This method of feeding substitution has harmed millions of children
both in America and throughout the world and we pediatricians can no
longer continue our relationship with the manufacturers of infant
formula." said Dr. Tayloe, who assumed the post of AAP President in
October of 2008..

"Our alliance with the pharmaceutical industry is unethical. Our
accepting millions of dollars and continuing to allow these business
people to influence our policies while sponsoring our speakers,
conferences and conventions is an ongoing embarrassment and we will end
this ethical problem right now."

"Further, I would like to apologize for our past mistakes involving the
breastfeeding advertisement campaign and allowing the maker of Similac
infant formula to print its corporate logo on the cover of a special
edition of the academy's book on breastfeeding."

"Again, I can cannot express enough regret and can assure you that the
AAP will immediately seek compliance with the WHO Code and will promote
the Baby Friendly Hospital Initiative."

Sincerely,


David T. Tayloe, MD, President of the American Academy of Pediatrics
April 1, 2009

The above press release was an April Fool's joke that was mass emailed to La Leche League Leaders today.

I'm Iriked at our Pediatrician

I took E in for her 6 mo WBV this morning and the first thing the Ped did when she walked in the room was hand me a print out(written and funded by the maker of RotaTeq) that tries to dispute information from The Vaccine Book by Dr Sears. This is 4 months after she told me "We will just have to agree to disagree on this, but I will let you follow that schedule."

Plus, I asked her 3 different times (in the past 3 months) about Medicaid funded diapers for Sean and she always says "I'll look it up and call you" but hasn't. She said she knows she just needs to write a script and has done it for another family but then she doesn't follow up with me!

Yet she has time to look up anti-Sears info...

In other news, she said Eleanor was doing great and looked good. She weighs 17 lbs 7 oz (70th %) and is 27" (90th %) tall.

Of course, the Ped wanted to make sure I was starting solids (which she defined as iron-fortified rice cereal) and suggested I give her baby multivitamins since she isn't getting copious amounts of artificial vitamins from infant formula. *rolls eyes and plugs ears, asks, mentally, "And when did you become a nutritionist?"*

This little one is the picture of good health, flourishing on 100% mother's milk, the way nature intended infants to grow.



Combine the above remarks and attitudes with her poorly worded compliments:
"She has a beautiful round head, no flat spots at all! I just don't see...well actually I do see it...how parents just leave their babies laying around and get those flat spots." (Nice way to lay blame on parents!)

"I bet you've forgotten what it's like to have a baby that eats! Well, of course Sean has his texture issues to overcome, but there comes a time when you need to put on your Mean Mom Face and just say that's it!" (Yes, I'm a pushover and that's why Sean has feeding issues.)

(After I said that I started giving Ella a bit of food to try last week, but not much has been ingested yet.) "You know my daughter is still pushing it out with her tongue too. (Her daughter is a week younger than Ella.) I told her, 'Listen hear, sweetie, you've got to get the hang of this! I can't keep nursing you all the time much longer!'" (Tongue thrust reflex is an indicator that a baby is not ready for solids yet.)

Sigh. You know I don't expect that I will find a dr the has all my parenting ideals or the sensitivity learned by being a SN parent, but it gets tough to grin in bare it every visit. I have to keep in mind that I go to the dr for medical advice, not parenting advice.

Raising Co-Sleepers

I've been having trouble getting Ella and Sean down for naps at the same time for quite awhile now. Usually I just let Sean skip his nap and end up holding Ella while she naps in the afternoon and pray that Sean doesn't wake her within the first 20 minutes.

Yesterday, they were both really tired at the same time, so I decided to give the tandem nap a try. I took them upstairs and laid Ella in her crib with the Ocean aquarium toy on. That usually entertains her for a bit. Sean and I went in the other bedroom and I laid down with him to nurse him to sleep. He tucked his Woody doll and Elmo under the covers with him and gave them a kiss goodnight. He got super drowsy and was almost asleep when Ella decided she was done with the crib. I got up and brought her to the big bed, laying in between Sean and me. I patted Sean while nursing Ella and told him to go nite nite. Amazingly, he did and so did Ella.

I debated napping with them, but really needed to take care of some chores so I got up and went downstairs.

Less than 30 minutes later, I heard on the baby monitor that Ella woke up. I sprinted up the stairs to try to get her before she woke up Sean.

When I got there, I saw the sweetest thing. Sean had woken up and was patting Ella on her back, like we do to him, and saying "Nite nite baby. Nite Nite Ella."

I picked her up and laid with him to try to get him back to sleep while settling the baby. He just rolled over and drifted right back to sleep so I brought Ella downstairs with me.

Sean is four years old and has Down syndrome, yet just demonstrated one of the biggest benefits of co-sleeping: the ability to immediately tend to a baby's needs. That's my boy!

Experimenting with Bottlefeeding

Wednesday evening is Doug's company Christmas Dinner. We had hoped that it would of been scheduled for a weekend night so my mom could babysit the kids for us, but that wasn't possible. Instead, we are lucky to have my friend Ellie able to come over. We decided to see if Ella will take a bottle of breastmilk, so that she can stay home too.

We have a big stash of Playtex Nurser bottles from when Sean used them at daycare. It's the only bottle we ever tried with him, but he started taking them at 3 wks old due to his poor feeding. I bought new nipples for Ella and gave it a go Saturday evening. No dice. She latched on it a couple of times for me, but would push it away after a couple of sucks. I had Doug try to feed her with it and she refused it from him also. I thought, "Maybe she doesn't like it because it's the slow flow nipple and I have a fast let down?" So I decided to try a fast flow nipple in it next.

Sunday afternoon, she woke from a nap and was happy but ready to feed. Perfect time to try the bottles again. I pumped 4 ozs of milk, and tried the Playtex bottle with the fast flow nipple. Rejected. (No pictures of this one, I was washing/sterilizing the others.) We bought a couple of other bottles to try, it was hard choosing them! I know very little about bottles, but had friends that used the Dr Brown's bottles so I got one of those. Ella had a Soothie pacifier that she liked a little when she was about a month old, so I got one of those bottles to try. $18 and 2 bottles later we were ready to experiment again.


Doug tried to give her the Dr Brown's bottle and had no luck. She cried and pushed it out of her mouth.



I poured the milk into the Soothie bottle and gave that a try. Nope, she didn't want that either.


Now she was mad. Mad and hungry and tired of people sticking weird things in her mouth.


So she opted for the original packaging...


Sean didn't want to see good milk go to waste, so he downed the milk in the Soothie!


Doug wants to try a few more times, but it is looking to me like Ella's going out for some fine dinning Wednesday night.

Keeping Warm and Welcoming Santa

Our weather has taken a turn into winter this week. I discovered on Friday, thanks to the 23 degree weather, that Sean has outgrown his winter coat from last year. I also discovered that we apparently skipped the 3T size for Aidan and went right to 4T, which of course is way too big for Sean. Looks like I will get to do a little coat shopping this week.

Saturday was the city's Christmas Parade, so I was determined to get everyone bundled up to go watch it. The boys wore jeans, long sleeve shirts & sweatshirts under coats, and hats. Ella was dressed in layers, tucked into the Moby Wrap, under as much of my coat as I could stretch around her and I put a blanket on top of her for good measure. It was about 40 degrees out when the parade started, not too bad I thought. Well, apparently the kids didn't think the parade was worth the cold, so after Aidan filled my pocket up with candy and Santa went by, they decided we should leave. Managed to take a few photos before we wimped out.











Ella's obviously been enjoying her wool longies lately.


Aidan and I decided to warm up the house by baking cookies yesterday. He's a singing baker, instead of a singing waiter....


A few updates:

I got a letter excusing me from jury duty!

I never did hear from the original winner of my book giveaway, so if Terri of Believing in Miracles still needs a copy, I'd like to send it to you! Email me, click on my profile and it's listed on that page.

Jury Duty, Breastfeeding and Kansas

I got some interesting mail on Friday, a summons to serve as a juror for the month of December. My first thought was "Oh crap! How am I going to get out of this?" At 14 weeks of age, Eleanor has not been given any bottles. I'm not planning on her taking any either, so serving on a jury would be a big problem.

I read through the letter the court sent and began filling out the application. Midway though, it asks the number and ages of your children at home. Next question is "Are you currently breastfeeding?" followed by "If yes, when do you anticipate weaning?"

I actually laughed out loud! At the rate my kids have gone, that could be another 4 years from now! I filled out the rest of the application and then went back to the weaning line. Hmm, what is a reasonable answer?

Well, the World Health Organization recommends

Exclusive breastfeeding for 6 months is the optimal way of feeding infants. Thereafter infants should receive complementary foods with continued breastfeeding up to 2 years of age or beyond.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends

Exclusive breastfeeding for approximately the first six months and support for breastfeeding for the first year and beyond as long as mutually desired by mother and child.

So I decided to enter "August 2010" as our estimated date of weaning. While I would be surprised if Ella self-weaned by then, I do think by 2 she will be fine with me spending a day or so in court on a jury if needed. Now if I had to spend the night away from her, that could be another story!

I decided to look into my rights as a breastfeeding mother in the state of Kansas and was happy to see that it should not pose a problem to get out of jury duty this time. Luckily, Kansas is one of the twelve states in the US that address breastfeeding and jury obligations. According to La Leche League International,

Idaho, Kansas, Oregon and Nebraska provide that jury duty will be postponed until the mother is done nursing the child.

Waah hoo! Go Kansas! Looks like Ella should have no problems keeping her food source close by for now.

KS La Leche League Conference Review

Sean's been sick with a cold, so I haven't had a chance to blog for a few days.

The KLLL Conference was great! I love spending the day with like-minded mommas. I attended two of Dr. Sears' sessions, one on Vaccines and the other on the Science of Attachment Parenting. He had a third session on Fathering that I missed to go to a session on the Curative Properties of Breastmilk. The day ended with the session I spoke at, Breastfeeding & Employment.

Dr. Sears' talk on vaccines was very informative. I've read about his book and approach to vaccines, but haven't read the whole book yet. So this was a live and fast version of it. He went over the illnesses that the vaccines protect against, the likelihood of your child contracting that illness, what the vaccines contain that may cause harm to your child and why his vaccine schedule is a safer way to protect your child from illness and avoid harmful vaccine reactions.

When Aidan was a baby, I didn't question vaccines at all and he was vaccinated on the standard schedule. He developed Reactive Airway Disease when he was 2 and has had respiratory issues triggered by colds or environmental allergies since then. When researching vaccines, I have come across information that says that sometimes the standard vaccine schedule can cause children to develop RAD and environmental allergies. The standard schedule exposes the developing immune system to so many illnesses at such a rapid rate that the body doesn't always process the vaccine correctly. I felt it was important to keep him on the standard schedule since he was in daycare/preschool and now kindergarten.

When it was time for Sean to begin getting vaccines, I specifically asked my doctor if the schedule should be different for him since as a child with Down syndrome his immune system is weaker and he is more prone to respiratory illnesses. My doctor looked into it and said there wasn't any information from the AAP about changing the schedule for kids with Ds. So again, we followed the standard schedule. Sean has also had respiratory illnesses. Of course, I have no way of knowing if this is due to Ds, the vaccines, or daycare/preschool. It just is what it is.

While pregnant with Ella, I did more research on vaccines and alternative schedules. God willing, I plan on staying home a couple more years, thus avoiding daycare for her. Combined with extended breastfeeding, I hope her immune system has a stronger start and we can avoid serious illness with her. I do still feel more comfortable vaccinating than not, so we are following Dr. Sears' alternative schedule. His website doesn't have a copy of his schedule on it, but he does blog about it. I have a copy on my computer of his schedule, you can email me if you want to see it without buying the book. But you should buy the book or check it out at the library to understand why he organizes the vaccinations this way.

As for his session on AP, it was very well-rounded and gave a lot of research info backing the philosophy that so many parents for centuries have instinctively followed. One thing he said that stuck with me: "the best gift you can give a new parent is a sling or similar baby carrier. It opens the door to the AP philosophy. If you can get a parent to wear their baby, breastfeeding success will go up, they will respond to their baby's needs and respect their baby's cries, they will want to keep their baby close."

Attending a LLL conference is a great opportunity to see lots of babywearing. A hotel employee commented on Ella snoozing in my Moby Wrap. He said, "It's so cool to see so many moms using these! My people in Jamaica have been using them forever." Yep! I'm glad I got mine out to use this weekend, Ella has been loving our pouch sling, but the Moby really helps distribute her weight better and my back appreciates that! Aidan took this photo of us one morning:


The session I spoke at went well. We had a few LLL leaders attend to get advice on how to help working moms at meetings and how to attract more moms that breastfeed and work out of the home. We had some WOH moms attend to get advice on how to get their employers on board with their need to pump at work. One of the other speakers had experience establishing a lactation room at her job site so it was interesting to see how she campaigned for that. I talked about bringing your baby to work programs as well as adjusting to daycare and extended pumping.

I was happy but exhausted by the end of the day. Ella was a wonderful little baby to take along. She did a lot of napping and got a lot of snuggling. The boys had a great day with daddy. He took them to see Madagascar 2 on Friday evening and Saturday the went to hang out with Uncle Curt and Cousin Kenzie. Doug said they got along great and the house wasn't in too bad of a shape when I got home. :)

Look who I get to go see tonight....

Dr Bob Sears! He's talking about The Science of Attachment Parenting tonight and tomorrow morning he will talk about his book, The Vaccine Book.

I'll be attending other sessions at the conference as well. I also will be speaking at one session on Breastfeeding & Employment. I love going to LLL conferences, so I am so excited today!

Today is a Big Day for Me

After six continuous years of breastfeeding, eighteen months of making time to read and learn the information I need to help others, and after making the commitment to represent the philosophies of La Leche League International; this evening I will be hosting my first meeting as an accredited LLL leader. I am excited and have a touch of stage fright, but feel confident in my ability to help others, as leaders in my past have helped me.

I first heard of La Leche League when I was pregnant with Aidan. My mother-in-law told me that when she needed help learning to breastfed Doug, she turned to LLL and found they helped her tremendously. She said, “They were such a nice group of ladies! I was so glad to have their help.” I had a friend due just before me with her first child and we decided to check out a meeting together, each offering the other moral support. I don’t know what I expected before my first meeting, or if I had any pre-conceived ideas. I guess I just thought of it like a child birth class- a place you go to learn how to do something than you never need to go again. A one-stop-shop for breastfeeding basics.

When we arrived, the room was full of mothers, babies and toddlers. The group had snacks for everyone, books you could check out and the moms gathered in a circle. Everyone went around the circle, introducing themselves and their children. The group leader had a daughter that was about 18 months old at the time. Petite, quiet little girl who kept popping up at her momma’s side and slip into her lap for a quick nursie before trotting away to play some more. I remember being surprised that a child “that old” was nursing. I thought breastfed babies weaned at 1, just like when bottle-fed babies are supposed to switch to cups. I’ve learned a lot since then!

I can’t remember what series topic the group discussed or even if there was a planned agenda. I just remember moms asking questions about what they were concerned about and other moms and leaders offering information or support. I watched with interest as mother’s fed their babies, the ease many of them seemed to have. There was a young toddler named Aidan that kept asking his mom, “Want grapes. Please!” His mom had to keep telling him “No grapes, makes your tummy hurt.” I guess he was grape-intolerant.

The leaders asked if I had specific questions and I don’t think I did, I just was there to soak up info. Before I knew it, the meeting came to an end. The leader gave me a folder with some sheets about latching on and other newborn info. She gave me her card and said to call if I needed her after my son was born. I was invited back to attend as many meetings as I could before the birth and after. I left feeling like I had found a nice place to meet moms and get help if I had any questions later.

I didn’t realize that night how much help I would need from LLL or how much the group would grow to mean to me.

I had difficulties nursing Aidan and the LLL leader came to my rescue. She made a home visit when he was just 4 days old. I felt comfortable with her, she explained our complications in ways that made sense to me and helped me figure out how to work past them. She encouraged me to continue working at our issues and gave me confidence that I could reach my goal of comfortably exclusively breastfeeding my son. I went to meetings to continue to get support, information and companionship. Gradually I changed from the new mom that had no experience and needed so much support, to the mom that could offer support and some experience.

When Sean was born, I was faced with new challenges in my breastfeeding experience. I was positive that he would also be breastfed and that it was the best choice for him. Here is a link that explains why it is so beneficial to breastfed a baby with Down syndrome. It took us a long time to achieve exclusive breastfeeding, but was certainly worth the effort.

In the past six years, I have learned so much about breastfeeding and how it relates to other aspects of my mothering. I had given thought to becoming a leader, but wasn’t sure if I was needed as one in our community. Luckily, my group leaders were having the same thoughts themselves at the time and approached me about making that decision. It took me awhile to get through the education process required for accreditation, but it gave me time to carefully think about why I was doing this and what I hoped to achieve.

I originally set a goal of completing the accreditation process before Eleanor’s birth, but didn’t get everything wrapped up until she was a couple weeks old. I was immediately “throw in the fire” so to speak with a call from a new mother that needed a home visit to help her with latching on her newborn.

I had come full circle. From lost mother to guiding mother. Tonight I will lead my first meeting, and hope that I too can spark the desire and confidence to breastfeed in another new mom, as well as offer her a place she feels comfortable and welcomed.

A special thank you today, to the three people who’s breastfeeding experiences mean the most to me:

Aidan


Sean


and Eleanor


I love you, babies!

Our beginning....

"HE'S NOT BREATHING! He's not breathing!"

I opened the shower and saw my husband, Doug, holding our three-week-old son Sean, who was covered in mucus and milk and turning purple. I jumped out of the shower and began wiping off his face. I had Doug get the nasal aspirator and I used it to suction Sean's mouth and tiny nose. After a minute, he was gasping and crying. I held him close and tried to calm him down. He was breathing, but it was very ragged.

I got dressed and we took him straight to the doctor's office. The receptionist sent us in immediately. The nurse asked me to undress him and when I did, we saw that his hands and feet were purple, his body was mottled and his stomach was very distended. She rushed to get the doctor. He looked briefly at Sean, then picked him up and said, "We are taking him to the Emergency Room."

Ten minutes after we arrived at the hospital, I received the surprise of my life. The ER doctor said, "Has anyone mentioned to you that Sean has physical traits of Down syndrome?" I was stunned. The room spun. I started crying and said, "Down syndrome? What are you talking about? NO! He doesn't have Down syndrome, he just spit up really bad."

The above paragraphs are an excerpt from our essay, Nourishment, in the book
Gifts: Mothers Reflect on How Children with Down Syndrome Enrich Their Lives.

That is the edited version of what happened on September 29, 2004. What happened in the middle is that our family doctor took Sean to our local ER and examined him and admitted him for observation/oxygen monitoring. By the afternoon, our doctor suggested that we need to life-flight Sean to the nearest Children's Hospital (in Denver) so that they could run testing there to determine why Sean aspirated. It wasn't until we arrived in Denver that a doctor diagnosed Sean with Down syndrome. That flight was an important turning point in my relationship with Sean and I was disappointed that it was edited from my original essay.

See, we didn't know much about Sean prenatally. We had declined any testing and only had two sonograms (one at 8 weeks to determine my due date and one at 18 weeks to check for abnormalities.) We didn't know if we were expecting a boy or a girl, although my heart told me it was a boy from the beginning. This was to be our last baby, the one that made us a family of four. I selfishly hoped for a girl, to make the 'perfect' family.

When he was born, I admit that I was disappointed not to have a daughter. I had a hard time bonding with him. How could I love another boy? Aidan was so wonderful and filled my heart so full. I didn't see how I could love another son as much as Aidan. I remember feeling like I was just going through the motions of mothering my new son. Nursing him, diapering him, bathing him, sharing him with family and friends. I bought craft supplies to make his birth announcements, but only made one before our emergency trip.


But that day, on that flight, it all changed. I saw my little son laying in an incubator, attached to monitors and oxygen. I panicked when his oxygen stats dropped to 70% because they had told me it needed to stay above 85. I held his tiny arm band from our hospital between my fingers and rubbed my thumb across his name. And I prayed. I prayed and wept. I begged God to make him better, let him live and forgive me for not embracing this beautiful gift sooner. I was so afraid of losing him. So afraid that he would die without feeling love from his mother. I told God that I would never take his gift for granted again and would do my best to give Sean all the love he deserved.



What I learned on that flight, is that love does not need to be divided, it truly does multiply.

In the following months, as we adjusted to the diagnosis, we learned so much about Down syndrome and thanked God that Sean was born so healthy. Sure he has Down syndrome, yes he has a small heart defect, turns out he aspirated due to reflux, yes it was a struggle to breastfed him, but eventually it worked and paid off greatly. Watching Sean grow and take on new challenges, challenges that seem so simple for others, has continued to remind us to be grateful. Grateful for every minute we share with him and every inchstone he makes. He is our blessing and one of the greatest gifts we know.

The Super Fast Birth of Eleanor Ruby

Well, less than two hours from my last post, we became a family of five!

My water broke at 8 am, contractions started around 8:30 am, we arrived at the hospital at 9:40 am and at 10:03 am Eleanor Ruby was born! My doctor made it two minutes before Ella came out. No drugs, other than most of a bag of antibiotics for the group B strep bacteria. It was such an exciting birth and I am so blessed with our beautiful new daughter. She is very healthy and nursing wonderfully. We have to spend 48 hrs at the hospital to keep an eye on her due to the brief exposure to GBS, but our stay has gone very well.

Eleanor is our biggest baby, weighing in atr 7 lbs, 1 oz and 20" long.

A few photos of our new family!

Aidan's Weaning Celebration

I debated on whether or not to blog about this, it's something that not everyone that knows me knows about. Then I decided that it is an important event in my son's life, one that we are happy to celebrate with him and I should share it.

The night before Aidan's fifth birthday, he and I shared the end of a very special relationship. We talked about his upcoming birthday and how special it is to be five years old. I told him that when you are five, you are old enough to go on special playdates with your cousins without needing mommy or daddy there. You are old enough to start Kindergarten in the Fall. You are old enough to sit in a booster seat and use the seatbelt. You can have sleepovers at grandma and nana's house. You can go bowling. You can swim in the pool with your floaty and go down the waterslide. Your baby teeth will get loose and fall out, so that you can grow grown-up teeth. And you are also old enough to not need mommy's milk anymore.

Aidan and I have been following a long path of child led weaning. Before he was born, I knew I wanted to breastfeed him. My mom always called me her "breastfed baby", the only one of her three children she nursed for awhile. My sister, Tanya, had nursed both of her sons for a little over a year each and my mother-in-law had nursed her sons about a year, too. I felt confident that Aidan would nurse "at least a year." At the first La Leche League meeting I went to, I saw the group leader nurse her then 18 month old daughter and was surprised to see a walking, talking toddler nursing. It was the first time I had the idea that weaning didn't have to occur at age one.

Once Aidan was born and we began our nursing journey, I quickly realized that it was easier to think day-by-day about how his life would evolve instead of year by year. When we had difficulties in the beginning, I cried to Doug, "This isn't fair! It isn't supposed to be this hard! I give up, go buy some formula!" He'd rub my shoulders, hug me, try to calm Aidan and I down, then I'd try again to nurse. We made it through the early hurdles, we made it through teething & sleepless all night nurse-a-thons, we adapted when I had to take a job away from Aidan and send him to daycare at nine months of age. For every rough patch, there were long stretches where I loved every minute of watching my son grow thanks to my milk. Where he looked into my eyes and showed me how much he loved the warm, taste and comfort at my breast. For all the times he fell while learning to walk or had his feelings hurt and was unhappy, nursing was the magic bandaid that soothed his soul.

When we found ourselves unexpectedly pregnant with Sean, I thought my milk will dry up and Aidan will wean. He didn't. Instead, we took a sippy cup of water to bed and he'd alternate between the breast and the cup to drift to sleep. So many times during that pregnancy I thought, "I can't take it anymore! It's giving me the heebie-jeebies! It hurts." We would try to settle him down without nursing, but he just couldn't, he needed to nurse, he needed that comfort. Day-by-day we got through it.

After Sean was born, Aidan went from nursing three times a day to nursing as often as he could. I needed to pump breastmilk for Sean until he was strong enough to nurse, and Aidan nursed one side while I pumped the other. My supply was enormous to feed two babies on demand day and night. Sean was four months old when he started nursing well and the boys would hold hands or pat each other's head while tandem nursing. Every so often, I would think "I can't believe I am doing this. I never would of imagined sharing this experience with my sons."

I put together a photobook called Aidan's Nursing Journey when he was around 3. It has photos of us nursing and talks about how one day he will be ready to wean and we will have a weaning party. Aidan couldn't grasp the word weaning, so we call it the "All Done Milkies Party." He liked the idea of a party, he would tell us he wanted it to have cake, balloons, his friends and family. We said we'd go to a special favorite place, and that place has changed over the years. We'd ask him when he thought he'd be all done with milkies, the age would change also. When he was 3, he said "when I am 6." When he was 4, he said "when I am 8."

Last Spring, Doug and I were blessed to find out that I was expecting again. A baby due right around Christmas. We were so excited to have another child. I noticed that my milk supply slowed down immediately and it was difficult to nurse. We didn't tell the boys that a baby was growing, but Aidan seemed to sense the change and night weaned himself right away. Sean also cut down in the amount he nursed. Unfortunately, I miscarried in May. Gradually, I felt back to normal, but the boys maintained the limited amount of nursing.

On the morning of his fifth birthday, Aidan woke up and asked to nurse. I asked him if he remembered what we talked about the night before, about how it might be time for him to be all done with milkies. He smiled and said "Oh yeah! I'm five today! It's my birthday!" He bounced off the bed to wake everyone else up. Since then, he has occasionally asked to nurse, but I have reminded him that it's okay to be done. He isn't having as much difficulty falling asleep as I thought he would and he isn't clinging to me more than usual.

I asked him if he was ready to have his All Done Milkies Party and he said yes. We decided to invite Uncle Curt and Cousin Mackenzie to join us at the indoor water park this Saturday. It was a cold, rainy November day, but a very warm, happy celebration.

Congratulations, Aidan! We are so proud of you for making this big step!